Aftersun
Posted On November 2nd, 2022
"the moment you realize your parents are not superheroes. they might have manifested you into reality but nothing about them is godlike. they have trauma.
they have fears. they have anxieties.
they have wounds that turned into scars and scars that turned into wounds.
I view my mother and father as flawed deities who’s actions I resented and passions I surpassed.
my mother was proactive, but she lets unresolved pain seep into her decisions. my father was a visionary who despised the world because it was blind of his potential.
I sit here in a familiar yet unfamiliar bathroom writing all of this.
I’m 20, i turn 21 next month. my life is entering a new prime every couple of days. I feel loved.
I have desires that aren’t too far.
I feel limitless in a limited vessel.
I used to think this experience was unique.
through rampant conversations I’ve had with coworkers, passerby’s on the DC streets, and best friends from years past throughout the summer remind me that we all are dreamers.
including the individuals who brought me into this world. my mother dreamed of leaving chicago’s projects.
she dreamed of escaping abusive households. she dreamed of black love. she dreamed of having a son and daughter (the son would be older to “keep his sister safe”).
my father dreamed of selling his manuscripts to millions of supporters.
he dreamed of being understood by the world, by a lover. he dreamed of capturing a creative spark that could bring a whole forest ablaze.
they were once 20, turning 21 in a month.
they were once sitting in bathrooms familiar in their unfamiliarity. they once thought their dreams were so unique.
we all can dream."
-quaran